Keeping in Touch

While we are in shutdown due to the COVID-19 we thought it would be a good idea to have a place on our website where we could, on a regular basis,  keep you informed, provide fun things to do, excite your mind, provide links to interesting places, inject some humour,  share some ideas and generally brighten up your day. So, on a regular basis while we are all sitting at home, our webmaster, Ian Handricks, will update this page for you and he would welcome your input, ideas and anything else you might like to share on the page and he will do his best to include your ideas in the next post. Ian can be contacted on ianhandricks@gmail.com Click on buttons below to go to a specific day or scroll down for a journey through the days

Day 15
 

n.b. When viewing the videos use these controls ... click on           in bottom left of video to start video and

 

                                                                                              click on           in bottom right of video to expand to full screen

A quick puff!
Message in a bottle
Clipped Wings
Trumped for words
Strike a Light!
Can you solve these matchstick puzzles?

1. Add 5 matches to these six to make nine.

2. Move just one match to make a perfect square - dimensions of the square to be 1 match x 1 match x 1 match x 1 match (no splitting, burning etc ... and remember only match can be moved!

John Walker

 

The first successful friction match was invented in 1826 by John Walker, an English chemist and druggist from Stockton-on-Tees, County Durham. He developed a keen interest in trying to find a means of obtaining fire easily.

3. To the 16 matches that form this figure, add eight more, so as to divide the figure into four parts of equal size and shape

4. Using just the three extra matches on the right, add them to the existing triangle so that you end up with four triangles exactly the same size as the triangle shown (1 long match x 1 long match x 1 long match in size)

A room with a view
War on infection

A Genealogist's Conundrum!

 

A woman walks into the welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

 

'Wow,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?"

 

'Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, 'sit down Billy.'  All the children rush to find seats.

 

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up.  I'll need all your children's names.'

 

''Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named Billy and the girls are all named Billie."

 

In disbelief, the case worker says, 'are you serious?  They're all named Billy?

 

'Their momma replied, 'well, yes, it makes it easier.  When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school,

I yell, Billy!'  an' when it's time for dinner, I just yell Billy!' and they all come running.And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Billy' and all of them stop.

It's the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all Billy.'

 

The case worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively,

'but what if you just want one kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

 

'Then I call them by their last names.

Back up the truck!

Wife Missing?


The first thing a grieving husband should do.......CALL THE SHERIFF!!!

Husband: My wife of 15 years is missing.  She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!


Sheriff:  Height ?
Husband:  I'm not sure.  A little over five-feet tall.


Sheriff:  Weight ?
Husband:  Don't know.  Not slim, not really fat.


Sheriff:  Color of eyes
Husband:  Sort of brown I think.  Never really noticed.


Sheriff:  Color of hair?
Husband:  Changes a couple times a year.  Maybe dark brown now.  I can’t remember.


Sheriff:   What was she wearing ?
Husband:  Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts.  I don't know exactly.


Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:  She went in my truck.


Sheriff:  What kind of truck was it ?
Husband:  A 2016 Brilliant Diesel Grey Pearlcoat Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4 l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, backup and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning.  It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats.  Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets.  I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.  It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.

Sheriff:  “Take it easy sir, we'll find your truck!!!”

Scrambled Eggs

Some facts about Easter Eggs

 

  • 80 million chocolate Easter eggs are sold each year.  This accounts for 10% of Britain’s annual spending on chocolate!

  • Eating five Easter eggs, the average given to most children, plus the bars included, could see youngsters double their recommended calorie intake for a week.

  • The tradition of giving eggs at Easter has been traced back to Egyptians, Persians, Gauls, Greeks and Romans, who saw the egg as a symbol of life.

  • Medieval Easter eggs were boiled with onions to give them a golden sheen.  Edward I, however, went one better and in 1290 he ordered 450 eggs to be covered in gold leaf and given as Easter gifts.

  • In medieval times, a festival of egg throwing was held in church.  The priest would throw a hardboiled egg to one of the choirboys and it would then be tossed from one boy to another.  Whoever held the egg when the clock struck 12 was the winner.

  • The first chocolate Easter egg was produced in 1873 by Fry’s.  Before this, people would give hollow cardboard eggs, filled with gifts.

  • John Cadbury soon followed suit and made his first Cadbury Easter egg in 1875.  By 1892 the company was producing 19 different lines, all made from dark chocolate.

  • The famous ‘crocodile’ finish that you see on Easter eggs came from Germany and was originally designed to cover up any minor imperfections in the chocolate.  And we thought it was just to make it look pretty!

  • In England, crowds still gather to watch Egg rolling on Easter Sunday.  This tradition goes back hundreds of years and the objective is to see which egg can go furthest without breaking.  The world’s most famous egg rolling takes place on the White House lawn on Easter Monday.  In 2009, the Obamas hosted their first White House Easter egg roll with the theme ‘Let’s go play’ which was meant to encourage young people to lead healthy, active lives.

  • The world’s largest Easter egg was made by the Belgian chocolate producer, Guyilan, in 2005.  The egg measured 8.3m high and took 26 craftsmen 525 hours to build.  1950kg of chocolate was used and the egg was displayed in the city of St. Niklass in Belgium.

Answering the question before last !
Differentials
The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller

To Coin a Phrase

  • You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish

  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

  • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

  • This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

  • I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

  • I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

  • A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

  • A will is a dead giveaway.

  • Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

  • Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

  • He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

  • I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

  • Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

  • There's more than two ways to skin a cat but either way, the cat won't think much of you.

A trip across the new Hardanger Bridge in Norway
(and we think the Westmere Tunnel is long!)
Landquart - St Moritz (1250m climb) with snowfall

Random Travel

So, you cannot get away for Easter ... however if you click the link below ... you can travel somewhere in the world and have a look around by moving the image with your mouse (left key held down)

 

 

click the            at the top left of the screen when you're at the website to go somewhere different!

Spot The Difference

There are 5 differences between each pair of photos - can you find them?

Bob and the Blonde

 

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 PM news was coming on.The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

 

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a £20 bill on the bar and said, " You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a

swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her £20 to Bob. "Fair's fair.

Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM  news,

So I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."


Bob took the money.

The Irish Christening

 

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a bad car accident and fell into a deep coma. After being stuck in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "You had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine now; however they were poorly at birth and needed to be christened immediately. But luckily, your brother came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus, not Paddy ... he's a clueless idiot. Anticipating the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well then, what is my daughter's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor. The mother is very relieved "Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about Paddy ... I do like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew"

Past Promotions
Advertisement of a Past Age
Click on image to see full size
Music Going Viral
COVID Choruses
Yesterday (we didn't have COVID-19)
Prince of Wales
Do Re Mi Co Ro Na Vi Rus
Exploding with Fun
Playing with matches!
Day 16
Reaching New Heights
Living Dangerously
 
It's a mystery to me
                                                        Can you work out what these antique objects are?                 Click here for answers
Day 17
 
Day 18
 
Coronavarian Rhapsody

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Takapuna

AUCKLAND

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